I’m really, hm, inconsistent? Or unstable. I’m really inconsistent with girls. Girls being bitches, hoes, and just actual, girls. I’ll have like 2 crushes per month and it’ll usually change unless I start getting serious more with a specific girl. Like, we end up in that talking stage bullshit that’s basically the norm. It’s been normal for me since around October. That’s when I really started talking to more bitches, not girls but bitches. Bitches being like, the biggest insult towards a girl but when I say bitches, I account hoes, not girls. Girls accounts for girls, you know, decent ass women. Bitches is I guess basically the same thing as hoes for me; hoes are expendable. Bitches can be hoes but also girls that just aren’t girlfriend material. They’re whatever. You see someone getting bitches, they getting hoes it’s whatever, it’s basically fine. I don’t know what I want. I get bitches, I kinda want them though, but I need, an actual girl. I know I don’t need/want the bitches but they’re just there, so I won’t feel empty, feel me? It’s like this little big and big little. This “would you rather have 1 loyal girl or 5 hoes” bullshit and honestly, I think that shit’s dumb as fuck. Like, not everyone needs to be in a relationship though ya know?
Yo currently, it’s 5/5/17, 4:27, in the fucking morning, had a good day today. Logic dropped Everybody. and spent the night with friends. Alright so, I hate the type of guy I am sometimes. I’ll have like, 2 crushes per month, at the same time, and I’ll still have hoes and maybe have one actual love interest (probably one of the crushes I’d have at the time). Yet, I haven’t genuinely crushed on a bitch since like, maybe March? Then before that was January with some chick in my first period. I might still feel something for her still, don’t know. A lot of smiles and laughs with her, but I wouldn’t wanna mess with her feelings. Anyways, my thing lately has just been talking to a lot of girls but dude, yeah got the bitches, got the link ups, got all this but the shit’s depressing. Like, these hoes are only around for nudes, the link ups, and dry ass conversations. None of these bitches give an actual fuck about how my day was, how I’m feeling, talk about music, or what I been up to and what I wanna do. It’s so, artificial man. They’re hoes dude, but I don’t really have anything going on right now, just link ups I guess and I wanna start something with a girl but yeah that’s it. There’s like a month left of school so yah lesgetit.
So it’s currently the night after, actually I continued writing this shit like at 4 in the morning on 4/7/17 so yeah. Fuck. Anyways, this one week during April I met this girl within one day, fell in love with her almost immediately, already got to giving her her first kiss and we made out and we just kept it I guess, PG, all within one week. Not even, it was actually less than a week. I basically expressed all these emotions so fast and so incredibly I couldn’t even properly process them and it was just, horrible. It was like having a sugar rush and crashing. Like, a horrible comedown, and not for me but actually, I think it affected her worse because I was her first for a lot of things. She also couldn’t really process the emotions properly. Throughout that week and still today, she basically kinda feels bad for breaking my heart and likewise, she makes me feel guilty, yet she’s still attached to me. Honestly I don’t know who’s the bigger piece of shit, I just don’t want her to stay attached because I don’t want her to stick to such a piece of shit yet I don’t wanna hurt her. I don’t know dude, it’s fucking dumb, we’re like 10 years old, na’mean? Neither of us knew what we wanted. At first I just wanted to kiss this chick and it escalated to something bigger than that, I showed her feelings she’s never been near her whole life. She tells me she’s just here to not make me feel lonely, that we’re just here for each other for a while to feel like we have someone. Maybe she’s right. Maybe that’s why I want and get so many hoes. But this girl wasn’t one of my typical hoes, she was something different, but I don’t want either of us to get attached to each other. Plus she makes me feel too guilty, shit ain’t healthy for my mind.
Currently, I’m on that 2 crushes thing right now, sadly, and one of the girls is like really cute but man. Maaaannnn I fucking hate girls who only date older dudes. Like, I hate that shit with a fucking passion. So that’s one type of girl I hate, the other is the really friendly type. This type of girl makes it hard enough as it is to tell if she’s into you or not. And sadly what sucks about these girls is they get classified as hoes lmfao but like, man this one girl she’s insaaaanelyyy fucking beautiful. Like, everything. She’s the type that I can tolerate a dry ass conversation with because I’m satisfied with just the fact we’re talking at all. She’s just, amazing man. But she’s too friendly so I don’t really know what the fuck to do. This is my first time in a while going old school having a crush. Like, actually having a girl in my school and properly doing this shit my old proper way. That, which to be frank, never works lmfao. The old school way being just slowly developing a relationship and then confessing my feelings after a month or so or start showing my affection by buying the girl things compared to my newfound way. My newfound way has basically just been hitting up girls I’m not even sure go to my school – or town at all, – reacting to their pictures with heart, once they do that back I hit them up through messenger to hold the introductory conversation then proceed to Snapchat where magic happens. Yo, usually though, I swear that’s how it goes down. We’ll heart each other’s shit, one of us hits each other up through messenger then maybe you’ll see they added you on Snap and that just means you reeled them in already. Messenger is like the perfect ice breaker. Then after that, all you gotta do is get their Snap, then it all just goes from there. Or if you already have them on Snap you can just “start a streak.” Best way to start talking to a girl, that’s my second time noting that on here.
Alright so switch up right here, so umm, I grew up watching a lot of Drake & Josh. Don’t debate me on this but that show was fucking great. My brother and I watched it a lot, and for anyone who watched it, y’all know how Drake was a player, right? As a kid, I kinda looked up to Drake, he was the most iconic fuckboy of the day back then. He was the fuckboy I aspired to grow up and become, and hence, here I am. I remember this girl I really used to like back like a year ago called me a fuckboy even though I really wasn’t one at all back then. Yet, I took it as compliment, but as an offense at first. Look at me now, ironic. Anyways, Drake kinda inspired me in the sense of y’know, the whole fuckboy thing, music, and his style also. Drake was just cool as fuck. But I never got pussy by playing guitar like Drake did; I had to work with what I had, which is basically me being really fucking good at finessing bitches, somehow. I don’t know, I happened to have become really good at being persuasive and I just know how to pick the girls. I know my limits with girls, which is why I don’t fucking date every girl I ever talk to, but also I have limits because I just simply wanna keep it on the line of friends. Beyond that line lays hoes, friends with benefits, Snapchat hoes (which is just a hoe you ring up or rings you up for nudes), link up hoes (hoes you only ever talk to when you hang out or wanna make plans, usually to fuck or everything before that), and well, girlfriend I guess is like the most superior position.
I. Pink Toes by Gambino just came on and it reminded me of this girl I actually kinda liked a few weeks ago from Memorial and well, she kinda fucking blocked me off the surface of the earth. I guess she thought I was talking to like 20 million other girls or something so she sent me a snap saying she got her phone taken away and got grounded for the week, that day we were gonna meet up. Later on that night I find she isn’t on my #1 contact on Snapchat and I figured out she blocked me there, then I checked Facebook. Blocked. Even Instagram. Like what the fuck who even does that, Instagram too, like really? I saw she didn’t block me off Messenger but it was too awkward and it was done already so I didn’t even bother asking her what the fuck. #wastehistime2017 amirite? Pinches hoes maaaan. She was cute though, like we had the exact same taste in music and we loved Pink Toes. We’d have the deepest conversations about music, that’s exactly what I need in a girl. But then again, I can’t really instantly find an insanely attractive girl with either nice tiddies or a big ass down to fuck while having my sex playlist queued with J. Cole, Travis Scott, 6LACK, Future, the Weeknd, and PARTYNEXTDOOR, ya kno? Yo hmu for sexy talk and hearing my existential crises.
Aight, there’s this really shitty breed of fuckboys though that aren’t even fuckboys, they’re just straight up horrible at trying to be one. These are lame fuckboys. Like, they talk to girls but that’s literally it, talk, like they don’t actually venture forth and do shit with them or escalate things. They talk as in have regular ass conversations and they brag about talking to girls. As if they were flirting with them, except the only thing this loser does is talk all dry and send stickers through Messenger or some lame ass shit. Like, they’re into the girls but they don’t actually try going for them. These are the type of guys that share shit on Facebook saying that they respect women and asking why don’t they get – real – women if they’re so respectful towards them. It’s cringey and just straight up nasty when guys say they respect women. About 9 times out of fucking 10 those guys are the dumbest you’ll find and don’t respect women. They can’t handle bitches, let alone handle hoes. Yet they still act like fuckboys, acting like they’re actually players and getting pussy. Like these are the type of guys that hit up your girl knowing goddamn well she’s taken and they ensue that they just wanna be friends with your girl, all the while your girl is showing you the messages she’s getting from the loser. This is the lamest of fuckboys, nah this is a fuckboi. They also tend to be incredibly boring and don’t even know what they’re doing. Improve your game, and you needa improve by degrading and starting off with a lot of petty girls or just girls that are also lame. Then you slowly work your way up and get less, but better and actually valuable girls. Then maybe actually get a girlfriend and live out your Facebook philosophies.
Sometimes I really hate myself because I fall in love with some bitch but really, the only fucking thing I’m in love with is her body. Or the idea of fucking her. Or all this other stupid shit but not her mind. Let’s be realistic here guys, looks do fucking matter. Fuck your poetic-wanna-be ass saying it’s all about personality, looks matter. It’s just science dude. But sometimes someone can be attracted to somebody who’s ugly as fuck, and that’s fine, but looks matter when it comes to what appeals your eye. Y’all have no idea how many times I’ve said “I love you,” instead of “I love your body.” Also the amount of times I stuck around with a hoe just because she had a good par of tiddies. A lot of times. My last ex was like, really small and skinny, so like y’all can just imagine how much that boosted the appearance of her tiddies man, fucking gold. Yo I can write, articulate, and express myself so beautifully as I do, and I waste it on talking about bitches and tiddies. What a fucking time to be alive. Continuing, so basically the whole I love your body thing is obviously just lust, just the usual lustful person I am. I fucking blame lust for a lot of the girls I’ve ever been with. I also tend to be more impulsive when I’m horny, is it just me? And what’s that with girls being like super shy of admitting any feelings of that nature? Like, no one’s gonna give a fuck, little to no one’s gonna call you a hoe but rather elaborate with you. But if they do, who cares, hoe culture is basically being worshiped and praised so much lately, go ahead, fuck it, who cares dude.
Oh and it’s hoe season, every couple’s gonna start breaking up in a bit. One of my newest best friends just ended his fucking year-long relationship. One year, and the dude stopped feeling it so he broke it off. What a fucking pain in the ass to be in a relationship for a year. I can barely last 3 months with the same bitch but I’m only willing to go longer than that if I find the right one dude, swear. But it really is true though that there’s a lot of disloyalty around and that whole “finding a loyal boyfriend is rare these days, appreciate them,” is kind of true, but it’s also girls that are disloyal. Extremely. Just this year after being cheated on, Girls with fucking boyfriends or were in that bullshit talking stage were also talking to me, and sometimes I genuinely hadn’t even known they were taken. Homewrecker status fam. But what would I know, is 3 months of calling a each other “baby” and sending nudes a relationship nowadays? If so I haven’t been single at all this year lmfaoo. Yeah, sounds about right. I’ve had a pretty fucking shit year I guess, very memorable but not all
Yo I needa take a shit lmfao I just finished this at 7:17 AM.
Youth Outstanding/Outstandng Youth